It is amazing and mind blowing to think that one small moment, one second, or one event can change your life forever! Finding out you are going to be a parent is one of those moments for sure! It's funny how you rely on a stick covered in pee to change your life. Now that I am traveling down this path to "mommyhood" I'd like to start blogging every 2 weeks or so to share the things going on with me and my body, and to have these memories to look back on. I'll use this first blog post to share how we found I was pregnant, when we found out and whats gone on with me the first few weeks.
So to start off, Let me say that I am 26 years old and have been married since October 29th, 2011. My husband wanted a baby right away, but I told him we needed to wait because I was in college still and I was not going to let ANYTHING get in my way of graduation. I was set to graduate in May of 2013 so I finally decided that in February of 2013 when I had my yearly gyno appointment I would talk to my Dr. about getting off the pill and starting a family. The one thing she said to me repeatedly was to never give up, and to not stress about it. Now at first this was very easy. I was in my last semester of college, and I had just started working full time with the advertising agency I had been interning at for a year. I wasn't tracking my ovulation or anything so I wasn't too worried about it. I did start praying that God would give me a baby for my birthday (and he did... in his own time.. more on that later!) and I also had this magical dream that I would be pregnant while at graduation and I'd be able to tell my child some day that they graduated college before birth (boy I'm glad now that didn't happen) After graduation we started tracking my ovulation via an app and I basically expected to just get pregnant right away. WRONG! I would feel so defeated every month when a new cycle would begin. I would lay in my bed and just cry and cry and cry, trying to sort out what we were doing wrong. Some months were easier than others. My cousin put her house up for rent and offered it to us so things started falling into place... We both had good jobs, we were going to have 3 bedrooms instead of 1, a backyard for the dogs (i.e. no more walking down 3 flights of stairs to take them to pee!) It just seemed like I would be finding out next that we were going to be parents. WRONG AGAIN! We moved into our new home in January 2014. My husband turned one extra room into his man cave and the other room sat empty. I wanted a guest room but I thought if I found out I was pregnant then the hard work put in would be a waste. I quickly gave up on that idea though and settled for a guest room. The months went on and still no baby.
My birthday is April 6th and this year we planned a HUGE house party to celebrate both the house and me of course. The party was planned for April 5th and we had the place decorated. Now again keep in mind I had prayed last year that God would give me a baby for my birthday, and don't think I didn't pray for that again this year. However I figured I wasn't pregnant because as always I hadn't gotten pregnant yet...The party was amazing and we had an awesome time with all our friends and family. There I was... 2 weeks away from one of the greatest moments of my life and I didn't have a clue!
Fast forwarding to the following Saturday, April 12th, I was super emotional. I was sitting at the dining table bawling because I just had a feeling I wasn't pregnant and I was so tired of stressing and being sad and miserable and wondering what I've done to keep me from having a baby and blessing my husband with a gift of life. My husband read about 10 bible verses to me about worry, and trust, and faith which made me feel 10 times worse because I felt like I didn't have faith in God. I got over and accepted that I'll get pregnant when God is ready for me to, not when I think I'm ready to. Here is where it gets good people....
I religiously start my period on day 26-27. I had checked my app and it had said that April 13th was the dreaded day! Well... nothing happened. So I check the app again and it says Monday is the 28th day so I thought, meh I'm sure my body is just being weird again. Again, nothing happened. Tuesday morning I told my husband I didn't want to get his hopes up... but I was still waiting on dear Aunt Flo and it was now day 29. We decided if nothing happened by the time I got home that I would take a test. I pulled in the garage and my husband opened the door said " nothing?" I replied "nope... nothing." so he jumped in the car and we went and got a 2 pack of tests. We got home and I ripped the first test out. I peed on it and sat it on the counter. My husband was anxiously hovering over it waiting on the result to appear. I kept telling him it takes 3 minutes, walk away. Withing 30 seconds, 2 bold pink lines appeared. My husband started hitting me on my arm because he couldn't get any words out. I glanced over, saw the positive and my legs gave out. Finally it happened, Finally my dream had come true! We were both bawling our eyes out. So excited, so happy, so relieved! Of course my husband made me take the other test an hour later and again, withing 30 seconds.. positive, no doubt.
Later that night we both downloaded all the pregnancy apps we could find and every single one said I was 4 weeks. WOW 4 weeks! I didn't feel any different yet but I was so overjoyed. I felt like I needed to be in a bubble to keep me and my sweet little baby Sosa safe. Within just a few days I started feeling nauseous from certain foods. I wanted corn nuts one night, all of the sudden I was having to choke down my Greek yogurt. Bananas made me feel nauseous. Oh and I started retaining water! I'm now half way through week 5 and my pants are not wanting to fit! I'm so much more tired than normal, but guess what I DONT CARE because I am growing a life inside of me and I am blessed to say I will be a mommy in 8 short months!
I spent so much time feeling like God wasn't answering me, or that he had answered me with a big fat NO, but now I think wow, I did get a baby for my birthday, just a year later. See God knew what he was doing much better than I did! I think looking back now I am so grateful for Him holding off on giving us this blessing, I don't think things would have been as wonderful as they are now!
I'll be blogging every few weeks I hope to keep things updated. I have a long journey ahead of me, but I couldn't be happier! :)
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