My Journey Through Mommyhood: Month One...

Hey guys,

Now that I've covered my pregnancy week by week, and my delivery story, I'll probably be posting monthly. Of course if something exciting happens I'll make a special post for that.

I also find articles from time to time that I like on parenting or controversial topics so I'll be sharing those as well.

So, let's get started shall we?

We ended up coming home from the hospital 3 days after Alden's birth. Chris drove so slow that first drive with him in the car. I'm sure people probably thought we were crazy, but we didn't care! When we finally arrived at the house I remember feeling both relieved to finally have my own privacy and my own things again... but also terrified because now we were on our own.

It seemed like once we got home I had a million questions pop into my head that I could no longer buzz my nurse in to answer for me. I remember trying so hard to sleep when we got home since I hadn't slept much in the hospital and I just couldn't do it! Those first few nights were horrible! Alden was fine, but I wasn't. I'd find myself sitting there hovering over his bassinet making sure he was still breathing. Every single noise that he made worried me.

We got home on a Friday and Chris had to go back to work that next day. My best friend came over for a little while that morning to help me out with him. When she left I broke down in tears. I was totally alone in my house with a newborn. What do I do if I need to pee? Or fix myself something to eat? What if my dogs start acting crazy? What if something happens to Alden and I can't fix it? Obviously I got through it but it was not easy.

At first things were OK. I was alone pretty much everyday except Sundays so I adapted quickly. However about a week after he was born, he started cluster feeding. For those who don't know what this means... It's when the baby eats much more often, and most of the time longer than usual. So instead of eating every 2 hours, he would want to eat every hour. He would take 15-20 minute naps between feedings and so that's all the free time I got. I'd look up and it would be 4:30 in the afternoon and I hadn't eaten or drank anything since breakfast.

Another major thing that happened in month one was getting thrush. Thrush is a yeast infection in your breasts that is excruciatingly painful. At first I thought Alden was latching wrong, but after he would finish eating I would be in miserable pain. Each time he would feed I would sob through the pain. Luckily we got that taken care of, but when you are exclusively breastfeeding and your baby is relying on you for food.. you work through it... even if that means bawling during every feeding!

Now to talk about something I ended up doing that a lot people find controversial... I did too, that I am now doing myself. That my friends would be co-sleeping. I do NOT need your opinions on the subject but I am going to tell you what led me to begin co-sleeping.
I have a bassinet that sits next to my side of the bed. After each feeding during the day or night I would burp Alden and then set him down. About a week after getting home from the hospital I would set him in his bassinet and he would immediately begin crying. I soon realized he was starting the cluster feeding phase.. as shared earlier in this post. I was getting NO sleep at night because of this. I was miserable and so was Alden. When we went to his next doctor appointment I told her about this and she suggested I give him formula. The reason why is so he would sleep better which would allow me to sleep, and allow me to keep my supply up. I FREAKED out because I did NOT want to give him formula at all! I was trying to figure out what I was going to do to solve this problem. One night after a feeding session I leaned back and had Alden on my chest trying to burp him. I ended up falling asleep during this time. My body had just gotten to its breaking point and I couldn't fight sleep anymore. I woke up to him moving on my chest and it was 3 hours later. Turns out he slept better too. So after that, each night I would just let him sleep on my chest. I would cover his legs up with the sheets and kept my boppy around my as a sort of shield. He slept instantly better and I started feeling so much better just from getting 2-3 hours of solid sleep at a time. Then after a few weeks he started squirming a lot more so I laid him next to me one night and although I slept horrible he slept amazing. So I started letting him sleep beside me and I LOVE IT! We both sleep so much better now and I get to wake up to him kicking or punching me with his little flailing arms. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Just so you guys know.. I told myself long before pregnancy that I would NEVER allow a child to sleep in my bed with me. I however had to adapt. I learned very quick that parenting is all about adapting to what YOUR child needs. Every baby is different and so advice that works for one child, may not work for them all. Never say never because you may find yourself in a tough situation looking for relief or a solution with nowhere to turn BUT the things you said you'd never do!

I've been able to watch my sweet boy grow so much in the first month. He looks so much different than he did at birth. I think I fall in love with him more and more every day.

My relationship with Chris has also changed and grown. I think I'll do a separate post for that though.

So as a final recap: Parenting is hard! HAHAHAHA! The journey that is motherhood is a tough one, but at the end of the day it is so worth it! It gets easier every single day.. you just have to keep pushing through!

Now... it's picture time!